Now I didn’t intend to be on the side. I was young and naive and relationships didn’t really matter to me. I didn’t know how much I was worth. I didn’t know how I deserved to be treated. I just like having someone around sometimes. So I would see Sean once a week. I was also seeing Isaac.
So I was going to see Sean and I didn’t really talk to him much on the phone. I didn’t talk to Isaac much either. I was busy working a lot so I didn’t have a lot of time. I talked to them when I could and saw them once a week. So that added up to two dates a week. I was doing pretty well for myself, but I was helping Sean out. I always bought him expensive gifts. I gave him whatever he asked for. Isaac was a great guy and he paid for every date. He wanted more than I had to give. Now Sean was taking more than I had to give.
I always felt like I owed someone something for being with me. It was like I was always fixing something. When Isaac didn’t have anything for me to fix I stopped seeing him. I wasn’t ready for what he was looking for.
Now I didn’t love Sean or Isaac because I really didn’t love myself. I had always worked so hard and achieved everything I wanted, but I never thought I was good enough. It was like I always felt a need to make up for something that I was missing.
Now I called Sean’s phone one day and a woman picked up. I was confused and asked to speak to him. She told me he was asleep and she would leave him a message if I would like. I said well this is Dana and I wanted to know when were we going out again. She said Dana you must be mistaken I am Sean’s girlfriend.
I hung up the phone immediately. I changed my number. Sean could never reach me and maybe he didn’t know what happened, but it was over. I didn’t cry, but I was shocked. I considered myself smart and I should have been able to see that he wasn’t seeing only me. I thought because he was consistent for the most part and I had gone to his house that I was the girlfriend. Obviously I was wrong.
When I think about it there weren’t many signs. He didn’t have any pictures of women in his house. But when I think about it he didn’t have any pictures. He took me in his car on every date and I didn’t see anything suspicious in there. What should I have looked for. Obviously if he lives far away and you never go to or see his house that is a huge red flag. But I was at his house every week. I guess guys have schedules set out for their girls. I hadn’t had a real connection with a guy in my life so I didn’t really know what a relationship should have been like. It was surprising to think that I was on the side. He spent more time with someone else regularly that she was bold enough to answer his phone. I don’t think I had ever seen his phone before.
If I was really into the connection or maybe if I wasn’t exhausted from work I could see what was happening.
Now some men would say a man that is strong could tell a woman that he wanted to be with a couple women and it would be okay. A weak man is the one who lies and gets caught up.
Ladies and gentlemen what do you think?