15 years sad sad

My Mother has been gone 15 years

The only thing that’s gotten better is the tears

Some times I know How it feels

I went from a place that loved me No matter what

Then it became we don’t love you wtf

I don’t know where I’m going

But I’m trying to make it with nothing left

I’m trying to make it but it’s not easy

Sometimes I’m make it look easy breezy

But it’s never been

I never had that win

But in a sense when you’re fighting someone with nothing to lose

You always loose even the booze

Some piece is gone

I keep trying to finish the puzzle

Most days I’m wearing the muzzle

sometimes

Losing game

Losing game

Always the same

I feel it Now

And this is how

I lost too many times

The bell still chimes

When does the loss end

I’m looking for the bend

That takes me to a better place

Where I don’t have to save face

I’ve lied too much

To run from your touch

It’s not supposed to hurt like this

I’m waiting for partial bliss

Poetry book